The day I was rejected was the day I learned to enjoy
A manifesto in favour of taking pauses.
A few days ago, we bid farewell to 2024, and the temptation to look back and take stock became irresistible—at least for those of us faithful Instagram users. A reflection we could really do any time of the year, but the collective vibe of farewells, nostalgia, and new beginnings calls us to join in (well, almost all of us).
I grab pen and paper, open the notes app where I’ve kept daily tasks all year, and dive into a gallery of memories. What happened this year? How did it affect me? What did I learn? Everything becomes a jumble of dates, and as I scroll through them, I find it impossible to do my usual end-of-year wrap-up. Something has changed.
Plans for the Future
Unlike autumn in Berlin, when I holed up to sort out my life and boost my spirits due to survival-mode circumstances, December brought plans. I reached that point where I cracked inside jokes with colleagues, became indispensable in a project, and became known at home as the early riser making noise in the mornings. I’ve started to feel part of a community that, until now, felt foreign. And believe me, when you feel like you’ve achieved that far from home, it’s massive.
I’ve met new people from all over—Americans, Germans, Brazilians, Portuguese. What do they all have in common? Nothing, except one question everyone asks when they hear my story in Berlin: “So, what’s your plan now?”
Even writing the question gives me chills. But I pause. I sit with it.
I decide to time travel and revisit all my past year-ends. How did I reset?
Analysing the year and hunting for jobs.
Setting goals for a better salary.
Sticking a motivational checklist on the fridge (the prototype of the ‘Cosmopolitan girl’).
Even a little box labeled “learnings,” where I’d save a note each month about what I’d learned (impossible to maintain, let’s be honest).
An entrepreneurial—and at times obsessive—attitude helped me achieve many of these goals, ultimately leading me to where I am today: writing to most of you from the other side of the world. But after 10 years of relentless commitment to work responsibilities, contracts, expectations, training, and bosses of all kinds, my answer to that insufferable question today is solid: I don’t know, I think I’ll enjoy myself.
Embracing Enjoyment
Enjoying. Embracing what I’ve achieved, absorbing what I’ve learned, and pausing my mind.
Being aware of the achievements, challenges, and strain you’ve put on your body and mind throughout the year is also part of a productive life. And while these reflections can be done anytime, joining the solar calendar’s rhythm helps you feel part of a collective sentiment. A world united by the same questions (generalising, of course).
2024 threw its punches…
bureaucratic nightmares
unemployment
navigating appointments in a language I barely speak
lost friendships
rental contracts
unexpected infections
a lack of hugs
endless expense calculations
breakups
border crossings without documents
CV drops on foot
scams
disappointments
Yet by the end of the year, a few things became crystal clear: I control nothing, and resilience is my best friend.
The year shook me, and maybe it shook you too. So, it’s time to embrace what we’ve accomplished. To pause and let go of certainty.
Ironically, a not-so-distant version of myself would have judged me harshly, accusing me of laziness or frustration at not having the energy for new projects. But today, this feels like the most honest goal I can set for myself—even if my grandfather thinks I’ve turned into a hippie and veered off course.
Why do the goals we set at the start of the year hold more weight than “I don’t know, I’ll discover it”? And why do achievements matter more than failures?
A mistake, a misstep, or a rejection can completely shift the course of your life—and sometimes, that’s for the better.
Loving the “No”
In a success-driven society, the answers to these questions are obvious. Success is celebrated, while blunders, rejections, and failures are swept under the rug. I used to be like that too.
But I was mistaken. After so many “nos” in 2024, I’ve learned to enjoy getting lost. I’ve realised the key isn’t in setting rigid goals and achieving them but in having directions to move toward, paired with enough flexibility to pivot when new paths appear.
Think of it this way: someone fixated on a single destination is bound to struggle more than someone adaptable and willing to embrace the road that unfolds before them.
Sometimes, a “no” is the only tool pointing you toward the right path and helping you navigate unfamiliar terrain. Where do you go, when what you thought you wanted is taken away? When do you keep pushing, and when do you let go?
That uncomfortable survival zone can become fertile ground for redefining priorities. Letting go of the mental blocks dictating how things should turn out frees you to re-evaluate your choices.
What Criteria Do I Choose?
Since October, when I started piecing my conditions (and psyche) back together, I made a decision: I’d only commit to places where I’m welcomed with a hug.
I know—how cheesy.
The body speaks, and in a stressful context where the mind can’t think rationally, trusting your physical sensations is all you have left. In Berlin, we’re all strangers. Nobody knows where you come from or what your intentions are, and at first, the only thing you have in common is choosing to move to this wonderfully chaotic city. Your criteria are all you’ve got to guide you in deciding who to surround yourself with and establishing it isn’t easy.
Trust takes time—feeling at home even more so. But by following those spaces that welcomed me without hesitation, I found new “homes.” This time, I was sure it wasn’t about salary, a position, a lifestyle, or even status.
Now, a simple pat on the back is enough to know whether it’s worth diving into everything else.
And So...
10 things I learned in 2024 thanks to being rejected
Discomfort can become fertile ground for experimentation.
I don’t always control my happiness or achievements—they usually surprise me.
My intuition is far wiser than I give it credit for.
Unconsciously, we make decisions that, if we’re open enough, always make sense eventually.
Everyone in your life has something to teach you. Let them.
Go with the hugs, not just the words.
When you reach a goal, take a moment to pause.
Sharing will save you a lot of unnecessary struggles.
You need a community more than you think.
Some problems are only solved by dancing.
Enough Unboxing, Give Me the Good Stuff
New Year’s Eve in Berlin blew my mind—it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The streets become a war zone of fireworks. Watch this video to see what I mean…
This song helps me stay present—I usually listen to it on the morning train.
A local newsletter I love: Handpicked Berlin. It’s got great insights on startups, careers, and growth. They even featured me in a piece about freelancing in Berlin—check it out!
Happy New Year, readers! 2025 is here, and it’s sure to bring plenty of surprises.
If you haven’t subscribed yet, it’s time.
xoxo,
Abi